A User's Manual: To You

If you're a boss beginning a new job, providing detailed instructions to your new staff about how you operate can help prevent communication breakdowns and misunderstandings. In your "Managerial User's Manual," which you write for yourself and then share verbally with your new team, you can describe your preferences, your style, what makes you angry, and what people may not understand about you.

A user's manual provides the foundation for constructive conversations about your motivations, work style, management and delegation style, communication and feedback style, learning and decision-making style, values, personal style, and any other information that can help reduce misunderstandings, accelerate mutual understanding and facilitate better collaboration with your new team. (See below for an example)

The benefit of a user's manual is that it serves as a starting point for accelerating the "getting to know you" process. Writing a User's Manual greatly diminishes the possibility that misunderstandings will cause your new team to resent or undermine you. The content of a user's manual should include what one values, what one is motivated by, and areas for potential miscommunications. In a sense, any interaction between a new leader and his or her team can be thought of as a cross-cultural communication. After all, the new leader comes from another organizational culture, and possibly also a different national culture as well.

For example, a client of mine wrote a user's manual in which he let his team know that just because he asks many questions, it doesn't mean that he is skeptical about their capabilities. It's simply his modus operandi. Originally a New Yorker, and now a company president in Mexico, my client was mindful that his new team might misinterpret his candid style as confrontational. A British HR Director working in New York City told her staff that they shouldn't interpret her reserved demeanor as being distant or unfriendly.

In order to create a User's Manual, you can review past performance reviews and/or 360 degree feedback (LINK TO WJM SAMPLE 360 REPORT), consult trusted current or past colleagues, mentors or coaches for input, or take assessment tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the Hogan Personality Inventory.

By writing a "user's manual" in which one conveys valuable information about oneself, the risk that negative interactions will occur can be greatly reduced. For example, another client wrote in his user's manual that he was a morning person, and he requested that his new team approach him with issues in the morning rather than in the afternoon. If he had not conveyed that preference, his staff might have approached him in the afternoon and concluded that he did not really want to interact. Or that he didn't care about the issues that they were trying to bring to his attention. In other words, they might have perceived his afternoon disengagement as being due to disengagement or disinterest instead of circadian rhythms.

With many people in career transition these days due to the challenging economy, writing a user's manual can be a good use of time, not just because when one finds one's next job the user's manual can be a useful tool, but also because even in the interviewing process, taking time to reflect on one's style and preferences can make it easier to prepare for interviews in which prospective employers may assess self awareness and potential leadership skills. Whenever I interview job candidates on behalf of clients, I ask them what wisdom they would share with their prospective new staff.

Writing a user's manual not only accelerates the getting-to-know one another process, it also sets a positive precedent for open dialogue and a framework for ongoing clear and candid communication with your new staff. A user's manual should provide explanations and suggestions, not rationalizations or justifications and should be a supplement to candid and open conversations, not a substitute for them.

A user's manual should be an evolving, living document; managers and executives should solicit ongoing feedback from staff and colleagues about how accurate and useful their user's manual is, and should update it as they progress in their careers. Leaders should also endeavor to build on their strengths and remedy their development areas on an ongoing basis, so that both their user interface and their operating system improve over time. Used intelligently, a user's manual can be an invaluable antidote against misunderstandings that can lead to downward spirals of interaction, potentially derailing a promising new manager.

A SAMPLE USER'S MANUAL:

MY STYLE:

When I'm under pressure, I get serious. This doesn't mean I'm angry or dissatisfied. Also, be ready to answer the question "why" five times for any given issue. If I ask a lot of questions, please don't become worried or defensive

WHEN TO APPROACH ME:

Please don't bring important issues to my attention if you see me at the break room. Instead, schedule a time and book a conference room so I can give the issue my full attention. Also, I'm a morning person, so if possible, please try to schedule time for critical issues before noon.

VALUES:

I value loyalty to our company's values above all else. And it is very important to me that everyone in this organization treats everyone-from me to the janitor-with equal respect and dignity.

COMMUNICATING WITH ME:

Have conviction for your point of view. I respect people who have the courage to push back if they think I'm wrong. But don't present until you are prepared. And make sure you have solutions.

WHAT I WILL NOT TOLERATE:

I am very unforgiving of people who don't admit or who cover up mistakes. Admitting a mistake will not get you in trouble. Concealing a mistake will cause major problems.

FEEDBACK:

I don't give much positive feedback. Assume I'm satisfied with your work unless I tell you otherwise.

HOW TO HELP ME:

I have a tendency to do things myself instead of delegating, so please suggest things you can take off of my plate.

Many professional speakers and performers claim to experience some version of stage-fright no matter how many times they step in front of a group. You are probably aware of the legendary pre-show jitters reported by the likes of Barbara Streisand, Lawrence Olivier and Carly Simon, but it may surprise you to find out that even people like Abraham Lincoln, Sigmund Freud and Donny Osmond (yes, even Donny!), among many others, have reported significant anxiety prior to performing for a crowd. Now you may be thinking: That's just great, Stephanie. So, you're saying that even the pros can't bear performing. Then how can I be expected to do it? I'll opt for root canal, thanks. - Or something to that effect. Here's where that very powerful sensory capability - perception - comes in. We have a choice.

One has to wonder: if it's so horrible, why do these people continue to do it? One answer: It's Exciting! The second question that comes to mind is: How do they manage it and still get out there? It is often a matter of PIP: Perception, Imagination and Practice.

Although the physical sensations associated with anxiety really and truly feel like those that immediately precede a painful death, they are purely the product of the mind and, as such, may be manipulated. However convincing the feelings may be, I have not heard of anyone actually dying from speaking in public. Additionally, many of the sensations we associate with fear and anxiety are shared with an emotion that we actually enjoy: excitement. What would happen if you made the choice to try to shift your perception by interpreting these feelings as excitement and see if they can propel you forward into the experience? Too much to ask, you say? I don't think so. It is possible with a little practice.

Don't get me wrong; like Babs and Abe and Donny, I have experienced those scary feelings. I have been gripped by fear and, I assure you, I have been seduced by the Dark Side. In my case, the darkness often manifests as a tiny and loud-mouthed critic who sits just behind me hissing in my ear about 1) how it can't be done; or 2) who am I to tell anyone about anything; or 3) how I'm not good enough; or 4) how I will blow it so badly that no one will ever forget it and my failure will be a favorite topic at cocktail parties for years to come.

Even with this nay-sayer on my shoulder, when it comes to things that involve what I want or need or that would be good for me to try, I always strive to direct my perception toward whatever interpretation offers the greatest opportunity. I try to see it as an exciting challenge and to assess the consequences in concrete, and not purely emotional, terms. What am I doing listening to an imaginary critic whose opinion I don't respect anyway?!? My imagination is expansive enough to create that heckler on my shoulder, so it should be more than creative enough to quiet her down. Imagination and Perception.

One thing I value about coaching people with these fears is that we have an opportunity to really look into the specific underlying issues and address them effectively. One tool I use is a video camera. It can be intimidating at first, but the fear of the camera is easily overcome with practice and it serves as an invaluable tool to help isolate the areas that need work. The best part? The camera also shows when the work is paying off, which helps to boost confidence and demonstrate in full color your ability to progress and succeed.

Something to try in the moment, as you feel the fight-or-flight responses beginning to ramp up prior to a particularly scary presentation or meeting, is to talk to yourself. You may want to do this silently to avoid the possibility of being involuntarily institutionalized but, if you can find a place to be alone, then go ahead and speak out loud. Here are some of the helpful things you can say to yourself:

• I am not dying.
• These feelings I'm feeling are a prehistorically programmed and misdirected autonomic nervous response that should be stored up for real emergencies (like running from a charging woolly mammoth.)
• 1, 2, 3, 4. (This counting refers to counting out the breathing, one of many relaxation techniques I use with clients who struggle to calm the system and slow down.)
• Hmmm...My throat feels dry. I should make sure I have some water up there.
• Hmmm...My palms are damp. I'll have to remember to bring a tissue or handkerchief when I do this next time.
• I AM NOT DYING. (it bears repeating)

It may seem silly and obvious but it is an effective tool to "talk yourself down" when fear threatens to derail you. No disrespect to Sir Lawrence or Carly, but these fears are irrational in the sense that they are not attached to real danger. Though it feels like the end, it isn't. Talking to yourself and thinking through the reality of the situation and what can be done about it shows your autonomic nervous system who's boss. You're probably not afraid of the dark anymore, but you may have been as a child. You learned to diminish that fear and you can do it again with this one. Practice.

I mentioned relaxation as an important part of gaining control of these fears. Keep in mind that, in addition to how bad it feels, we are not as good at what we are doing when we are stressed. This is especially true of spoken communication, which depends on a high level of concentration and energy, as well as clarity of thought - all of which are compromised when we are stressed and tired. You may be able to "wing it" going through the motions at work on a particularly light day, but try giving a presentation when you can't concentrate. It's miserable for everyone - not just you - and generally a complete waste of time (which takes that time from other things we need to be doing, leading to more stress!). You may have a long and proud history of well-earned stress, but anyone can learn to be more relaxed if they approach it as a skill worthy of development.

Because of how we're pushed by demands at work and at home, feeling stressed is almost unavoidable. We often begin to feel that being really stressed out is a great way of demonstrating to the world how hard we're working. The more stress: the more admirable the effort. This is all fine and well until you find yourself completely lost at a very important meeting and realize that YOU ARE THE ONE TALKING. Or, more seriously, the annual check-up starts showing serious stress-related health conditions. I use a broad array of relaxation methods and tools to help my clients work on stripping away the stress so that they may be more focused, confident and present in their communication.

Who you are and how you think about yourself will have a lot to do with how easily you take to these changes. If, somewhere along the line, you decided that being a professional and being a human being are mutually exclusive states of existence, your road will likely be a bit longer.

It is my belief and experience that everyone can improve and feel better about the prospect of speaking in front of a group, or even in an intimidating one-on-one situation. You can improve by working on this on your own and, if you want some objectivity, customized attention and help, you can get a great deal done with a coach. Still, it's not always realistic to expect these feelings to disappear altogether. The goal is to learn to live with the symptoms and lighten their effect through practicing these and other techniques. In this way you may find that public (or other) speaking is not as miserable and frightening as you first thought. And it's no woolly mammoth.

In the current challenging job market many senior executives, are finding themselves unemployed longer then expected despite their experience and credentials, making the right decisions about their executive compensation more important than ever.

If you are a senior executive, keep in mind that the very skills and values you practiced successfully on the job are just as valuable during a period of unemployment. While hardworking, devoted and conscientious, many may forget key actions and deadlines in the emotional heat of the moment as they head out the door.

While you may be entitled to an attractive array of assets and benefits from your company, those advantages can be snatched away if these four immediate and near-term actions are overlooked:

1. Building a budget
2. Managing stock options and restricted stock
3. Developing a deferred compensation strategy
4. Maintaining insurance

1. Building a budget

You might receive enough severance to last six months with careful spending. This provides a window of time to put out feelers for a new job, while arranging other aspects of your post-employment life.

Cash flow is king. Without bread and butter on the table nothing much matters. All asset sources must be examined. Perhaps there is money accumulated elsewhere that can be brought into play. It is helpful to think of your money pool as a venture capitalist would: Your resources have a burn rate of six to 12 months toward supporting your search for the next job.

One outcome is likely: In the current environment, your money may have to last longer than you might think.

Are you an executive over 55? You may be eligible to negotiate your separation as a retirement from the company. There are two immediate benefits of retirement status over being laid off:

• You don't have to be as concerned about near-term cash flow. You are closer to receiving retirement income from a pension or other source.
• The stock options you have been granted may continue to vest. This will help you to continue building your wealth.

2. Managing stock options and restricted stock

Once the broader issues of budgeting are addressed, you can start to consider actions to take regarding your plans for stock options as well as restricted stock.

A stock option is, by definition, an option to purchase stock that has been granted to executives like you. This stock is nontransferable and subject to forfeiture under certain conditions - such as termination of employment. There are two types:

• Incentive stock options (ISOs) When you exercise your ISOs, rather than paying ordinary income tax the options are instead taxed at the capital gains rate, currently 15%, if shares are held for a year and a day.
• Non-qualified stock options (NQOs) Here you pay ordinary income tax on the difference between the grant price and the price at which you exercise the option. Once exercised, any amount above the exercise price would be immediately included as ordinary income if your shares are sold within 12 months.

Once you leave your job, you have 90 calendar days to exercise your options and receive your vested stock - or forfeit your options. (Any non-vested options in your account will be forfeited upon your date of separation from employment.)

Paying for your stock as well as receiving the proceeds from selling shares may require a series of steps:

• You may choose to divest some of your stock to pay for the exercise of additional shares, net of taxes.
• Or, you may wish to combine cash from stock sales and other available to cash to pay for your shares.

Without careful attention to the complexity of managing stock-based compensation grants, including restricted stock, you can inadvertently leave a lot of money on the table - or unintentionally propel yourself into a higher tax bracket.

3. Developing a deferred compensation strategy

Next, take a close look at your deferred compensation and retirement plan situation:

• Do you know which assets are qualified and which are non-qualified for tax purposes?
• How much did your employer contribute to your retirement plan?
• Is your 401(k) or pension plan portable - or does it remain with the company?

Depending on the answers, you may have a lot of discretion in how you receive your deferred compensation at separation. You might choose to take your money in a lump sum and pay ordinary income tax (plus any penalties for premature withdrawal if you have a qualified retirement plan) - or receive your distributions over a period of time and spread out your tax payments.

If you cannot recollect your non-qualified elections from when you joined the firm, just ask your human resources department for details.

4. Maintaining insurance

There are a host of insurance considerations to grapple with at separation:

• You can continue your health insurance for 18 months under The Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA), which gives workers and their families the right to continue group health benefits for limited periods of time.
• You will want to explore and replace coverage for both your long-term and short-term disability insurance.
• If you elect the portability of your employer's plan, you must also consider the possibility that insurance coverage could skyrocket in price. The company's insurance company will likely assume your risk is very high - otherwise you would not have chosen to continue coverage.
• New spousal coverage must also be considered; at many firms, spousal coverage vanishes at separation.

What if you are leaving a company to take a higher paying job? Even during a recession, some people are finding attractive opportunities. It is very tempting to consider a new offer based on an attractive hike in pre-tax income. Think twice - and do the math.

• Would you be missing out on a near-term bonus?
• How will a job change influence your wealth - not just your income? (It's not how much you make that is important, but how much you get to keep.)
• Will you be leaving any stock on the table? How far away from being fully vested in your company's stock plan are you?

Whether you are leaving a company voluntarily or involuntarily, don't be short-sighted. Before ending any long-term professional relationship, it is important to get your house in order. Collect the information you need to organize your plan of action. If you need help, your accountant or financial advisor can lend assistance.

Most importantly, act quickly to gain the maximum advantage from your executive compensation. After all, you earned it.